Therapist in Modesto chatting with Chris Rabanera about Mental Health Counseling for Men
Hello, this is Laura Garcia LMFT, your therapist in Modesto. This is an exciting day, I am excited to talk with Chris Rabanera, LMFT, LIMHP who is licensed in California, Michigan, Nebraska, Nevada, and Utah. Chris specializes in working with high achievers on issues such as physician burnout, therapy for men, and grief counseling.
Below is more on my chat with Chris about Therapy for Men. As a therapist, I am hopeful that such conversations will grow the awareness of how mental health impacts our daily lives and experiences.
Let’s dive to get to know more about Chris Rabanera and chat about Mental Health Counseling for Men
How did you decide to become a psychotherapist?
I wanted to help people but I didn’t know how I wanted to do it until my senior year in high school. I had a psychology teacher who was also a psychotherapist. My first psychology class fascinated me, so I decided to jump right in. I went to UCLA and double majored in psychology and sociology. I took a year off to get a taste of the field of psychology, where I worked with at-risk students who had a mental health disorder and a learning disability. I then earned my Master’s degree and started to see clients.
How did you decide to focus on Mental Health Counseling for Men?
As an Asian-American man, I recognized that the stigma for mental health treatment is strong. As a young man, you are taught the only emotions you are allowed to express are happiness and anger. You may be able to express sadness, but only in rare cases, such as the death of a dog or a loved one. Even then, crying is not acceptable. I remember that, as a young adult in my early twenties, I was a pallbearer at the funeral of someone who was like my mother. The pallbearers were about to walk out with the casket. I had tears streaming down my face, and my nose was dripping like a faucet. Another pallbearer sees me and barks, “Hey! Stop crying! Wipe your nose!” Of course, I stopped crying and wiped my nose. I needed to follow society’s norms and rules.
As I’ve grown, the societal norms and expectations of how men are supposed to control their emotions are not healthy. Emotions are meant to be experienced and expressed, not hidden or stuffed away. I want to be someone that helps flip the script. I want men to be able to work on their mental health.
Therapy for Men and the Roadblocks
As someone who specializes in mental health counseling for men, I’ve observed several roadblocks that often prevent men from obtaining the support they need.
Cultural Expectations and Gender Norms: As I’ve already hit on, cultural expectations and gender norms prevent men from obtaining the support they need. Societal norms often dictate that men should be strong, stoic, and self-reliant. If you don’t fulfill societal norms and expectations, a man begins to question if they are a man or not. If a man is not strong, is he still a man? The pressure to maintain cultural expectations and gender norms is strong.
Fear of Judgment: Many men fear being judged as weak or incapable if they admit to needing any help whatsoever. Many feel that asking for help is an admission of weakness. I can’t tell you of too many men who are admitting to anyone that they are weak or incapable in any aspect of their lives. The fear of judgment from family and friends can prevent men from seeking the mental health counseling treatment they need.
Lack of Awareness: Some men are not able to recognize the signs of mental health issues. Many people in society are not taught about emotions and feelings. This is especially true with young boys and men. They are not taught what to do with them and how to process them. Many men are taught to never show emotions. They are also taught how to push their feelings to the side and ignore them. It’s not until a major issue occurs, such as a failed marriage, problems at work, or problems with law enforcement and the judicial system, that men become aware of the mental health issues occurring.
What are the reasons why men are seeking therapy?
I specialize in working with high-achieving men. This includes physicians and healthcare workers, lawyers, CEOs, directors, managers, and people in the tech industry. Most of my clients seek support for two issues. Issue one is dealing with work stress and burnout. Issue two is dealing with a relationship issue. The similar factor in both cases is that the men I work with do not understand, acknowledge, and know how to deal with their emotions in a manner that helps them achieve their goals. For many of my clients, we start by building their basic emotional intelligence and understanding. We create a framework for emotional understanding and a process of how to manage, experience, and move forward with their emotions. This can be a scary time as this is new and unknown territory. I always encourage my clients to be cautiously optimistic about this process.
Who should go to therapy and what are the benefits?
Any time is a good time for therapy. Many of my clients reach out to me because a major incident occurs. Examples include difficulty sleeping, feeling burnout out at their job, or a marriage crumbling. I recognize that clients reach out to me when they feel they have used all their options. I want to challenge the idea that therapy is the last option. I want the idea that therapy and taking care of your mental health is the same as having a personal trainer and taking care of your physical health.
The best time for therapy is starting today. Starting right now. People should not wait until they are in crisis before they start therapy. Just as a person could start working out and building muscle, people can start working out today and build their mental muscles. Many people start therapy when they are in crisis. I recommend working on your mental health and getting therapy so you won’t be in that crisis.
What transformations do you witness in men who engage in therapy?
I’ve seen amazing transformations with my mental health counseling for men. My clients have been able to sleep better, calm their worried minds, improve their relationships with their partner and their families, and come to terms with decisions they’ve made. One recent client I had was a mid-career emergency medicine physician and was feeling burnout. He was considering leaving the field completely. When the physician completed treatment, he was excited to go to work, recognized his role in being kind and helpful to the patients he served, and was planning on continuing with medicine. In our final session, he talked about how he wished he started therapy with me sooner, and the impact therapy had on his life was priceless.
Supporting Partner in Therapy for Men
Chris shares a tip with Therapy in Modesto readers on supporting their male partner in opening the door to therapy. Chris says they should approach the conversation with their male partner with empathy and without judgment. Many men will be on edge talking about their emotions and will become defensive. Find a comfortable and private setting where you can talk without any distractions or interruptions. Express your concern and support with them. Normalize the experience that therapy is a healthy and helpful way to address life’s challenges. Remember, therapy is working out for your emotional health and well-being. If something is off emotionally, therapy may be able to help.
Ready to start Therapy?
Chirs currently offers individual therapy services to high achievers in California, Michigan, Nebraska, Nevada, and Utah. He specializes in physician burnout, grief counseling, anxiety, and depression. He also provides tailored mental health counseling for men. Chris was recently selected to be on the National Football League Players Association clinician directory (how awesome is that?). Chris is planning on attending conferences and trainings to up his clinical game. Keep in touch with Chris and learn more about all the amazing services and offers on Instagram @TheBaseEQ, Facebook at fb.com/TheBaseEQ, and of LinkedIn as Chris Rabanera. You can also check out TheBaseEQ.com and begin your path to working with Chris.
Therapy in Modesto
It's your time. Feel confident as you move forward in your journey about Therapy in Modesto, CA with Laura Garcia LMFT. If you are looking for help finding an Anxiety Therapist, Grief Counselor, Marriage Counseling, or Couples Therapy, don’t worry—I've got that covered. Commonly asked questions about the process and what it is like to work with a Therapist in Modesto have been answered. Searching for a Spanish-speaking therapist in Modesto? Learn more about Laura Garcia LMFT, your Spanish-speaking Modesto Therapist.
